Date:	2003-11-12 05:17
Subject:	FUCK
Security:	Public
Mood:	confused
Music:	Coheed and Cambria

well its late or early depending on the pessimistic or optimistic way of things. I haent slept and im def. not sleeping tomorrow night....nor friday night. so ima be up for a record on this one. Anyhow im overwhelmed with work lately and i went into work today for the first time in about 2 weeks today, it was nice seeing everybody today. I had a good day today for the most part. I was SOO drunk last night...i did 11 shots in less than 2 hours...went to bed at 430 drunk as fuck....and woke up at 1140 for my class :)...I didnt go to english today because i couldnt sit through another class so i just went home and laid down for ten minutes after criminal justice and then went to work till 4...i didnt really do all that much. (as usual)
I work this Friday, then on Saturday I will be going to the off season Robotics Competition in Wissahickon. It'll be a nice release from it all, I'm sure I'll fall asleep while I'm there. when i get home to Temple on Saturday night ill go out with the boys and get shitty...then work like a champ on sunday whenever i decide to wake up.

How do you tell someone that you love them without them running away?

P.S. My sober nights record is up to 17 or 18 now

So registration for Temple Freshman opened today and i tried to register last night. All because i didnt skip my classes to go to a group advising session i cant register until 1 pm today when i skip english to go to the group advising meeting. Even then i dont know if im going to get the schedule i want. *sigh* i fucking hate this bullshit....we're responsible enough to fuck up our own schedules thank you very much...just let the retards fuck up if they want to....learn the hard way this is college....*argh*....i want to be independent and i cant because of group advising.

fuck it....and fuck relationships, ill be single the rest of my life

Date:	2003-10-24 09:06
Subject:	*extended sigh*
Security:	Public
Mood:	indescribable
Music:	throwdown - hate for the weak

well its been an interesting 24 hours i guess you could say. emotions have run high today. and its before 9 thats pretty impresseive but ive been up for 24 hours officially now. and it sucks. I went to the Temple pep rally this morning with lauren it was cute but everyone asked me why the fuck i was there and i felt unloved...=( but i saw pi there, he was working again, and i saw tawni that was interesting...we wont go into the details of the emotions but they def. have run like a roller coaster from about 230am-630am

i try i dont know what else to do
i guess you could say this is goodbye
i assume that this will lead to something new
i dont want to start from scratch

i pick myself back up
i wont let it happen again
i dont like to be like this
dont worry ill be ok

dont bullshit me
dont lie to me
dont decieve me

if youre going to lead me on....at least have the courtesy to lead me in the appropriate direction...

im going home for the weekend....i cant wait to get there...i need to see my baby and my mommy...and i need to get away from here...to all the friends at home....tap them kegs....its time to do kegstands and pass out...not really its prolly going to be another pool hall trip....bye

So i went to math today and we got our midterms back today...keep in mind that they are 20% of your total grade and i know everything and could teach that class....im not saying that to boast or anything but it's the truth....the class is college math and we do things like rate of change and interest, it's not hard stuff but my test taking ability strikes once again and since i have anxiety or something when it comes to tests i got a 13 out of 20.....but i actually got a 15, the computer marked one completely wrong that was right and one that i didnt erase the answer completely...when i asked my teacher about it...he told me next time to erase the bad answer completely (which i understand i fucked up) but then when i told him the computer made a mistake he said OH NO the computer doesnt make mistakes.....fuckin cocksuckers the scantrons arent foolproof....in fact theyre old and shitty....argh so that just ruined my day completely and i officialy hate myself for failing such an easy exam...

its been an interesting week....after an easy school week last week it sems as though all my teachers decided to pile on the work this week. Im up until about 4 every morning even if i dont have work....i think my insomnia is back....actually i dont think it ever went away just because i was getting 3 hours of sleep insted of 30 minutes i said it went away....anyhow this weekend i didnt do all that much...went to dons on friday night until they went out for pi's birthday then came home and chilled cuz my roomates decided that they wanted to stay in...and noone else was doing anything either...then saturday night i went to daves apartment to chill with pat and matt and got kinda buzzed nothing big but i left all early cuz matt was off his ass and ready to pass out...it all works out though....i re-met lauren in the hallway....she was all drunk returning from work and a night on the town with some 34 year olds....and hung out with her until she was sober....and then sunday i did a lot of schoolwork and didnt go home because it was a work day....monday i wrote a 5 page paper i didnt know was due until becky told me it was due..then it was movie time.....anti-trust is a damn good movie and a good stress relief...then tonight i did a little bit of reading and went to work for the first time in about a week or so....im prolly going home on saturday for a bit...we'll see what happens....

reply with much love and how much you miss me not being in upper darby anymore...

ps my friend joel is in the ICU because of some poor faggots that thought theyd rob a store in barclay square.....thats my town how can i take pride in it?

you know what really sucks. When the person you love doesnt show interest in you anymore and it seems as though they avoid you every chance they get. it sucks when the person you love is so close but theyre farther away than theyve ever been. Love is definitly for the weak at heart. And this current love is making me weak at heart. i really dont know if im going to be able to love in a few years....i dont know how this is going to turn out but i need to stop thinking about it. Its all i think about anymore. And i need to talk to her about it but i cant. The conversations anymore arent long enough to talk about something serious lik that....if i tried to start write away she might leave halfway through and think im crazy....what the fuck am i supposed to do....i cant just stop loving her...its not that easy....everytime i think about her i get upset....once her thoughts brought me smiles and good thoughts about old memories but now it makes me introverted and attempting to not think about it anymore...i dont know what to do anymore....confusion that never stops....

Date:	2003-08-20 14:17
Subject:	liscense time
Security:	Public
Mood:	anxious
Music:	icp - the dating game

hmm....its about time im going to get my liscense today...i hope i pass...then maybe ill get my truck...*whew*

wish me luck..

layer one

name: joeY
birth date: september 8, 1984
birthplace: bensalem, pa
current location: aldan, pa
eye color: brown
hair color: brown (getting it frosted blonde soon)
height: 5'11"
righty or lefty: righty
zodiac sign: virgo

layer two

your heritage: mostly irish
the shoes you wore today: my brown and white DC's
your weakness: ummm..im generaly an open person and it seems to get me in trouble a lot
your fears: there isnt anything i fear (im not trying to be a hard ass)...but if anything rejection
your perfect pizza: peperoni upside down...now that right there is a pizza
goal you'd like to achieve: to be happy...and to get what i want

layer three

your most overused phrase on AIM: "lol" (yeah who doesnt over-use that)
your thoughts first waking up: fuck me im tired...cant school start so i dont need to wake up at 730...*whew*
your bedtime: b/t 3 and 5
your most missed memory: my grand-dad

layer four

pepsi or coke: coke
mcdonald's or burger king: burger king
single or group dates: single dates
adidas or nike: nike
ice tea or nestea: iced tea!
chocolate or vanilla: vanilla
cappuccino or coffee: coffee motherfucker

layer five

smoke: yea
cuss: all the time
sing: at times...
take a shower everyday: yes
have a crush: yep...
do you think you've been in love: i am
want to go to college: yep ill be there next year
like(d) high school: too much drama for me, but i miss my senior year, it was the shit..
want to get married: eventualy
believe in yourself: most times
get motion sickness: if i am in the back seat of a car for an extended period of time, then yes.
think you're attractive: not particularly?
think you're a health freak: i used to be and i will be later on this year
det along with your parent(s): only my mom
like thunderstorms: yes...i love the sound of thunder i like watching lightning strike and i like the smell of rain....
play an instrument: no


layer six

in the past month...
drank alcohol: yes
smoked: yes
done a drug: no
had Sex: no
made Out: no
gone on a date: no
gone to the mall: yes
eaten an entire box of Oreos: nooo
eaten sushi: eww.
been on stage: no
been dumped: no
gone skating: no
made homemade cookies: allison made some for us
gone skinny dipping: no
dyed your hair: no, soon enough tho
stolen anything: no

layer seven

ever...
played a game that required removal of clothing: if by game you mean...ummm...anyhow... lol...i sure have.
if so, was it mixed company: no
been trashed or extremely intoxicated: omg yeah....senior week was pretty bad
been caught "doing something": close but never "caught" per-say
been called a tease: hehe...yeah but i always finish
gotten beaten up: yeah...every night i go out
shoplifted: no
changed who you were to fit in: fuck no

layer eight

age you hope to be married: 26?
numbers and names of children: 2 or 3....boy first...
describe your dream wedding: i think about it then
how do you want to die: in my sleep
where you want to go to college: Temple University
what do you want to be when you grow up: Lawyer
what country would you most like to visit: Australia

layer nine

in a girl
best eye color? umm...as long as its something i can look into then the color doesnt much matter
best hair color? i think i prefer brunettes butit doesnt seem to matter
short or long hair: shortish....not short....not long...somewhere in b/t
height: smaller than me...
best weight: are you serious? this is the most superficial question in layer 9 which should be called...layer how superficial are you?
best articles of clothing: ummm...this might be more superficial than the weight question...who gives a fuck
best first date location: hmmmm...playground...somewhere nice that you can just chill and talk
best first kiss location: somewhere comfortable

layer ten

# of drugs taken illegally: 1
# of people i could trust with my life: 3
# of CDs that I own: 162 CD's + burns + samplers
# of piercings: 0 but 1 is coming :)
# of tattoos: 1 is coming...:)
# of scars on my body: haha...a lot...i scar

Its been some time and im the same ol boring me....not much has changed on the home front but ive done a lot lately...first and foremost i finaly got around to redesigning my website... http://joe.gldmall.biz ...and check it out..sign the guestbook and all that fun shit...

moving right along last friday was warped tour and it was fuckin amazing...i slept over erics the night before...i didnt go to sleep till around 6am...i just couldnt sleep...then we got there about 12:30 and poison the well was playing (we missed bowling for soup)...and right into the pit i went...after PTW was dropkick murphys and we ran into slater and jenkins...then i ran into amy...nothing real special it was basicly "holy shit thats amy " *pats her on the head* "omg joe" "ok hold on ill be right back" *hXc dancing time* ...then i almost passed out after Taking Back Sunday played so i went outside and i ran into kait shadrick...at this point im by myself because i lost eric shaneo matt slater and josh...so corrine calls me and i meet up with her alex matt and erin by the truth booth...as im waiting for them i see kayla....and i was just like holy fuck b/c its like a 3 or 4 hour drive for her and she has strep...lol..then they came...then left...and i sat around the truth booth b/c it was cooler...less people there...i decided i wanted free shit from them so i walked over to see what was possible...the shirt was easy all i had to do was tell them a chemical in ciggarettes...then the hat the girl said somebody do something crazy (they only had a few)...so off came the pants as people were like what the fuck...so then i went inside to sit down and watch the all american rejects...i decided i didnt want to sit so i jumped the barricade and started my own pit...then brand new came on and the pit stayed...so i go outside and i dont remember who else played but before i left i went and saw simple plan and breaking even...breaking even played horribly they sounded 10 x's better at jacquys...i left about an hour b4 glassjaw played... :( ...i really wanted to see them but i figured i still had asbury to see them so all was gonna be ok...right?

then the bad news...amy calls me on friday night or saturday day i dont remember actualy when it was...and shes not allowed to go to asbury her mom wont let her...no big deal ill just go without her and all will be well cuz ill get to go to my 2nd warped tour and ill be the happiest kid ever...but eric didnt want to take his car...he told me finaly on saturday and i was pissed i wish he woulda told me that b4 i bought it...thats an extra $35 that i didnt have to waste...oOOo well...so i make plans to hang out with amy and her car breaks down...and then i do nothing on sunday...it was a beat ass day...

this week we had a scavenger hunt...it was amazing we made a list of 100 things for the next one...next tuesday...
10 Putt-Putt Tickets
8 Ball
AIDS/HIV or STD Phamphlet
All Three Sizes of Cups from a Store
American Flag Large
American Flag Small
Basket of a Bike
Basketball
Bird Feeder
Bird House
Birthday Sign
Bowling Ball
Bra of a Random Girl (Can't Know her or a friend of hers)
Broken Electrical Appliance (ex: Toaster, Fan, Vaccuum)
Bus Schedule
Business Card
Car Antenna
Car Flag for Sports team or Funeral Flag
Car Ornament
Caution Tape (3 Ft. or More)
Cement Animal Lawn Ornament
Cement Person/Angel Lawn Ornament
Cigarette Sign
Coke Carton
Computer Hard-drive
Computer Parts (ex: Keyboard, Mouse, Printer)
Computer Screen
Cop Trading Cards (unlimited 3 pts. per different one no duplicates)
Couch Cushions
Coupon Dispenser
Crutches
Cue Ball
Decorative Flag
Flower Pot
Football
For Sale sign (has words FOR SALE on it)
Fruit or Vegetable from Grocery Store
Funeral Flowers or Wreath
Gardening Tools
Gas Can
Gas Cap to (Car or Lawn Mower)
Glass
Golf Ball
Ground Lantern
Hat
Hot Persons Cell Number Other Team Calls for Verification
House Numbers to make 420 or 69 (bonus if they are same make)
Hubcap
Huge Roll of Toilet Paper
Items Divider in a Grocery Store
Ketchup Bottle
Laundry Off Someone's Line
Lawn Nome
Lawn Swan
Light Board Letters (spell out either asshole, fuck you, or losers)
Lightbulb
Maxi Pad from some Random Chick
McDonalds Ball for Ballpit
Menu from a 3 Restaurants
Metal Fork
Metal Knife
Metal Spoon
Mustard Bottle
Napkin Dispenser
Natural Mushrooms
Newborn Sign
Other Countries Flag
Parking Cone
Parking Cone with Reflective Stripe
Parking Cone with Township written on it
Pepsi Carton
Pitching Machine Ball
Plastic Flowers
Plastic Rim of Kids Basketball Net
Plastic Windmill
Plate
POW Flag
Rearview Mirror Decoration
Salt and Peppers Shakers from a Restaurant
Santi-Seat Cover for Toilet
Skeeball
Soap Dispenser Bladder
Sold Sign (same as above)
Someone's Work Name Tag
Sports Equipment (Stick, Club, Bat)
Store Basket (CVS or Eckerd)
Store Sign (ex: McDonalds Arches)
Stuffed Animal
Tabasco Sauce / BBQ Sauce
Tampon
Tennis Ball
The Flags from a Men at Work Sign
Thermometer from someone's pool
Three different colored milk crates
Toy Car or Truck
Trolly Schedule for Route 101
Two Shoes off A Telephone Wire
Ugly Persons Cell Number Other Team Calls for Verification
Underwear (Thong 1 pt Bonus, Matching Set 2 pt.)
Wind Chimes
Window Cling

enjoy and dont forget my site...

oOo man theres only 6 hours until i leave for the warped tour in camden new jersey. I hope it rains but doesnt thunderstorm cuz that would make for one hell of a show. I hope i get to see everyone im supposed to tomorrow (amy, corrine, erin and katie) Then on saturday i might go to a show in bernathon with amy if we can ever figure out where the fuck this place is. Then on sunday its off to asbury park with amy and jen(amys friend from vermont) that show is gonna be killer if we ever make it out there.

I re-designed my web-site and the beta site will be uploaded on monday. ill keep you posted on that. and on that note i will talk to you all later. Im gonna be soaked tomorrow and its gonna be awesome...

Fill this out about me:

1) MY FIRST NAME:
2) MY MIDDLE NAME:
3) MY LAST NAME:
4) MY NICKNAMES:
5) MY BIRTHDAY:
6) DO I HAVE A BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND/CRUSH?
7) IF SO, WHAT IS HIS/HER NAME?
8) WHAT IS MY FAVORITE COLOR?
9) WHO IS MY BEST FRIEND?
10) ARE ME AND YOU CLOSE??
11) DO YOU WISH THAT WE COULD BE CLOSER??
12) WHAT IS YOUR BEST MEMORY WITH ME:
13) IF YOU COULD TAKE BACK TIME, WHAT IS ONE THING THAT YOU WOULD CHANGE BETWEEN US?
14) DO YOU THINK THAT I AM: (CHECK ALL THAT APPLY)
ANNOYING
SMART
BORING
FRIENDLY
FUNNY
TALENTED
A GOOD FRIEND
SPORTY
CENTER OF ATTENTION
LOUD
WEAK
UGLY
PRETTY
QUIET
HAVE GOOD TASTE IN MUSIC
FUN
SWEET
CRAZY
DUMB
RUDE
MESSED UP
15) WHAT IS ONE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT YOU WOULD GIVE TO ME??
16) DO YOU THINK THAT I AM HAPPY IN LIFE??
17) WHAT IS MY BIGGEST FLAW?
18) WHAT IS MY BEST CHARACTER TRAIT?
19) WHAT SONG REMINDS YOU OF ME?
20) WHAT (or who) DO I HATE MOST?
21) WHATE (or who) DO I LOVE MOST?
STATE YOUR HONEST OPINION OF ME:
PART II
ONLY ANSWER IF YOU ARE A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX:
1) HAVE YOU EVER HAD A CRUSH ON ME?
2) IF SO, DO YOU STILL NOW??
3) HAVE YOU EVER KISSED ME?
4) WOULD YOU LIKE TO KISS ME?
5) IF YOU COULD TELL ME ONE THING, WHAT WOULD IT BE??
6) WHAT DO YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN IF ME AND YOU WERE STUCK IN AN ELEVATOR?
7) WHAT WOULD YOU WANT TO HAPPEN?
8) IF YOU AND I GOT LOST OUT IN THE WOODS,
AND A BIG BAD BEAR ATTACKED...WOULD YOU RESCUE ME?
9) ARE ME AND YOU GOOD FRIENDS?
10) WOULD YOU LIKE FOR US TO BE?
11) HAVE WE EVER DATED?
12) WHY NOT?
13) ANYTHING THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO ASK ME?

everything was going good after temple...then last night happened and it seems to be nothing but a downward spiral of SHIT...and the more i think the more i become insecure about (a) certain thing(s)...and i was starting to think that things might work out and the more i think about it...the more problems i have...and i dunno what to even think...

I went to orientation and it was fucking amazing....and the people were fucking amazing...one in particular that im thinking of right now....and up until tuesday night things were all happy cheery when shit hit the mother fucking fan hXc like a black dude doin a white chick in the ass....

Tonight i had a good time....i saw amy tonight and it made my night but i dunno whats going to happen with that...i really need to stop thinking about her so much....since temple ive only not seen her on sunday and monday and i dunno i reall enjoy all the time i spend with her and she makes me ridiculously happy...and i dunno i dont want to fuck it up

i gotta go my dads breathin down my neck...

this morning i had to swim against darby....and it wasn really a real meet...like it didnt count for shit but a filler meet and a meet to count towards the full season which i now have (and ill get my jacket soon....fuck yeah)....but i did well this morning....dave came down after he went to the chiropractor to see me lose to the 2nd best fly swimmer on the team so now i get my balls busted for being the first loser....ehh shit happens....i still swam my ass off and it was a fun time...

then when i got home from the meet and showered and shit i called dave and we went and picked up the camera which i later found out that i cant use b/c andy carr is a fucking fag....anyhow then just kinda chilled around daves house until we picked morganne up from work...and then....we went to meatballs fight....omfg was it amazing....i had such a good time....meatball is a fuckin bear and my nigga fo lyfe all i have to say is that im happy i got him on my side...lol....but i still do wanna spar a few rounds with him....lol and get my ass kicked....i have a big fuckin gash/scrape/cut on my elbow cuz i tried to jump threw a bush and i forgot about the curb and clipped it and busted my elbow....now its all fucked up

but back to meatball...that kid fuckin dropped that gyro eatin mother fucker in the first round and then got tired towards the end of the second....BUT...still wooped this kids ass....it came down to a no decision and since they needed a winner they picked the george kid who clearly didnt beat meats....it was fuckin bullshit...but we had the whole fuckin place chanting meatball and it was amazing...he got robbed...and then we went to morgannes and chilled for a lil while...all in all good times tonight

sorry to everyone for everything....im a downer...and im sorry

You are Mike!


Which SLC Punk are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

who thinks i should dye it black with blonde streaks and cut it all to one equal length....?

Well Joanna came home today after 3 weeks Joannaless she has made her triumphant return to good ol upper darby....although im disapointed in her lack of tan in comparrison to other vacations to florida it was nice to see her again. Her presence was missed.
So in celebration of her return we went to ruby tuesdays and our waitress was hot and from springfield..i was gonna ask her for her # but josh left his cell # on the back of the check so i couldnt ask...anyhow....that was fun minus my sudden mental breakdown...which seemed to make me emo/anti-social...
then we went bowling at sproul lanes and that was a lotta fun i had a good time thurr i bowled a 123 and a 132 so i was satisfied with that....i think that maybe my new obsession...

Original Love
-Joe Troy Jr-

do you believe in love....
i know i dont...
love to me is staring down off a tall building looking at the people below and wondering if u'll miss me when im gone.
love to me is a loaded shotgun pointed at an injured animal.
love to me a fabricated feeling of overstimulation to stop the masses.
love isnt your conscience.
love is for those who seek to find closure.
love just maybe "as good as it gets"

take me heart out of your hand
mend the broken pieces together
.....but theres missing parts.....
mother fucker put it back as best as you can
you wouldnt be perfect after all this niether

please take your foot off my heart....
i meant no harm
who ever would thought that saying i love you would hold such repercussions

this was inspired by one phrase "how can you care about somone that doesnt care for you in return"

and honestly i dunno how to respond to that...i dunno how to feel about that....i dunno

why must i always be a fuck up
am i doomed for failure
am i doomed for death
as i await the final task i think to myself what a fucked up world we live in

peace out dawgies...

WELCOME HOME JOANNA (sorry to everyone for killing the night i know i was a big downer...and i wasnt trying to be dramatic...i just have shit that i need to get through with and then the regular joe will return)

Well tomorrow is my first swim meet in connestoga and my grad party....should be a hell of a day...im going to die at swimming and then have to work my grad party...probably in the rain goddamn it....oOo well

Well tonight was my grad party and it was fun filled as usual....jacquy's shindigs always seem to be fun...and a lotta shit went down....i dunno even know anymore....like fuck it....nvm i dont feel like writing....

peace out

I done gradiated from the Upper Darby High School today and my teacher done give me my diploma cuz i can do my fuzintas (goes into) and i can siepher (decipher)....today was a pretty wicked awesome momen in my life cuz now i feel all sophisticated and this feeling of accomplishment that will never leave me.

last night i went to the wakefield show to rescue jacquy from erin and michelle and it was a decent show...i threw my shoulder out dancing with yoni though...yoni and justin are def. characters (even though justin did fuck me up when i was tryin to lay my game down)....i felt the cumpulsive need to punch 12 yr old "punk rockers" last night...but instead i just pitted and danced into them...and they were like OMG he's so weird....OMG he looked at me....OMG he wrote that song for me....OMG SHUT THE FUCK UP...

I got a cellular device yesterday....610-331-7985....calll me

then today/tonight i hung out with eric all day...we went to south street...(for the first time for me) and i went to condomn kingdom...the weirdest place ever...and south street is definitely over-hyped...but then when we got back we hung at kelly's for a bit and called morg and the crew to see what they were doin...then met up with all of them at playhouse...they left to pick joanna up after we were done socializing...and then went to ritas...me and eric played deer hunter for the hour they were gone and then called them to tell them we were leaivng even though we didnt bowl...for the second time this week...and then i went home and got directions to temple for my placement exams tomorrow....erics pickin me up at 645 and we're hittin it up....ima rock those tests like its my job.

thats all for now...peace out kids...

well i went to the grad parties yesterday....i made $30 at danielles party....that was awesome...drunk relatives are oficially the shit....then we went to a show in media with some band and a modest promise....it was amazing...and i had so much fun yesterday...

today i should get a cell phone so you guys can call me anytime...

I swam this morning and holy shit....smoking + swimming = disaster

But suprisingly i swam well...as opposed to the winter swimming kids...

i discovered that all wiggers are horrible and all kids from sharon hill need to be shot with a cannon...like the old school cannons that used stell balls (like in the patriot)...he said that tupac was a shitty rapper cuz he cant "freestyle" and that jay-z is better....ooo man but thats not even the thing...i was walking out and they started shit with me....there will be a fight by the end of the summer...

sigh

its grad party time...it has begun...today i have 4 possible im going to 2...